We all know the feeling – the feeling when you’re scrolling through social media and you see that your cousin just made it to her 7th year at the same company and is now getting her fourth promotion. Or maybe a girlfriend from college just got engaged, adopted a puppy and bought a house in the same week.
When you see other people succeeding, do you ever find yourself thinking negative thoughts about them or their situation? Maybe you find yourself criticizing or rationalizing why they’re doing so well and you’re *not*. These feelings are totally normal and come from a belief that there isn’t enough to go around. This is also known as a “lack mentality”. We think that because someone else is succeeding, there is therefore less available to us. Obviously this is simply not true. I’m going to show you how you can stop comparing your life to others, and start living your life for you.
Use other’s success to ignite inspiration.
The next time you see a friend succeeding, change your perspective. Instead of thinking thoughts like “Why can’t I have that?” decide to view their success as an example of what is possible for you. You can have that and you will, so there’s no need to harbor any negative feelings. Your friend is making 6 figures at 26? Amazing!! As soon as you see a friend succeeding, celebrate them! Take joy in their accomplishment, because if it’s possible for them then it’s possible for you.
Enjoy the middle part.
Jim Carrey once said, “I wish everyone could get everything they ever dreamed of, so they can see that it’s not the answer.” Sometimes we are so busy rushing through the motions of life, striving for more money and more recognition that we forget what the point is. The point is not to get rich for the sake of getting rich or to get married for the sake of getting married. The point is to be happy. And this joy can be found by enjoying the journey, or “the middle part” as we like to call it. This is the time when you’re putting in the work and fueling your faith, but haven’t yet reached your goal – this is the best part. This is where all the fun is!
Imagine if you woke up tomorrow with everything you ever wanted, what would you do? You’d likely enjoy it for a bit, but then you’d be inclined to find a new goal or new purpose. As humans, we were made to grow and evolve. I believe when we stop striving for growth, is when we often suffer with feelings of sadness and anxiety about our futures. So when you catch yourself wishing you were further along, remind yourself that the middle part is the best part.
Refocus your attention onto your own life.
It’s so easy to take our own accomplishments for granted. But, at some point you dreamed of being where you’re at now. Your life may not seem abundant, but there could be someone out there scrolling through your feed and using you as inspiration. So what can you do to improve? What is one thing you can do today to make you feel proud?
As soon as you refocus your attention onto your own life, you will remember how far you’ve come and you’ll continue to work towards becoming a better version of yourself. Not because you’re trying to impress people on social media, but because you want to feel fulfilled and joyful, and as we know, that comes from personal growth.
The next time you see an engagement post, promotion post or an “I’m so excited to announce…” post, defy the temptation to sulk, and drop a little love in their inbox! Everything you want is coming, and their success doesn’t change that.
Start seeing your goals as little gifts you ordered online. You don’t have to worry about when they’ll arrive or why someone else got theirs first. You get to be happy for the people around you, and excited for all the good that’s coming your way.